Friday, January 27, 2012
2012: Release. Replenish. Rebirth
I've been thinking about writing this post since New Year's day but I've struggled with finding time for blogging. Actually the real root of the problem is that I'm struggling to find time for myself, possibly because I'm not really sure who that person is any more. The past 3 years have seen HUGE changes in my life: a cross country move from California to Virginia, the loss of our support system, my first pregnancy, moving into our first (leased) house, giving birth, new motherhood, a second very hard pregnancy, birthing my second child, moving into another apartment, caring for two babies under age two. Although slot of these huge changes have been quite joyful they've also been very hard & have changed me so much on the inside that I'm not quite sure who I am any more. Suffice it to say 2011 was my year of Struggle.
In 2012 I will turn 40! I feel like this is going to be a BIG year for me personally. As I move into the middle half of my life I want to lose emotional baggage I've been lugging around for two decades & finally step into my own power as a strong, creative light filled woman; the woman I've refused to let shine all of my adult life. Age 40 marks the beginning of middle life & I am ready to embrace this new stage in life, one I've looked forward to for years. I've always felt that I would be a late bloomer and now I am ready. And so THIS YEAR will be different. I have approximately Nine months before I turn 40. How appropriate! The same amount of time it takes to be born. Over the next nine months I WILL find my power and rebirth myself by taking charge of my life.
So, this year instead of one word to lead me thru the year I've chosen 3 words to act as my guide: RELEASE. REPLENISH. REBIRTH.
Release: expectations, judgements, fears, anxieties, negative thinking, stress, anything I can't control, and the past.
Replenish: fill myself with light, care for my soul, focus on positivity, focus on peace & contentment, take time for ME, reconnect with things I love like classical music, jazz, candles, books, bubble baths, creating, learning.
Rebirth: do the work I need to do to be my best & live my best life, accept & be confident that I am GREAT. Let go of anything not working in my life and move towards a new path.
Right now I'm trying to just sit quietly with all these big thoughts & feelings, trying to find my essential self amidst all the intense changes I've experienced the last few years. I feel like a butterfly about to emerge from my cocoon.