Friday, December 16, 2011
Feeling (and looking) like a used dishrag lately. Wyatt is about to be 6 months old & is going thru alot of changes particularly napping/sleeping (he doesn't want to) and TEETHING. His two bottom teeth have just broken thru the gums. So needless to say he has been CRABBY and very high maintenance. It's a rough time, made a bit rougher because I'm having alot of Mommy guilt.
Before having a second baby, Nora got all the attention, cuddles, & love that I could shower upon her. And it was A LOT! When she had rough days or was a bit naughty it didn't really bother me because she was my complete focus and I could be there for her, patient and loving, to take care of her needs immediately. Then came my beautiful Wyatt and chaos erupted. It never fails that Wyatt needs something or has a melt down at the EXACT SAME TIME that Nora also needs attention. So I'm constantly torn between the two, trying to decide on the fly and in the midst of tantrums, meltdowns, feedings, and diaper changes who gets attention when. Often it ends up being whichever child has the most ear piercing scream
In that moment. It's a juggling act I often fear I don't do very well, hence my feelings of mommy guilt. Parenting multiple children is so much harder than I ever expected. You MUST be an excellent multitasked & manager of time, both areas I am weak in. I don't expect perfection any more. Heck, I'm pleased when we survive the day with just minimal tears ( both mine & theirs). Yet I still wracked with guilt at the end of the day thinking of situations I wish I'd handled differently & (most often) wishing I'd had more one on one & cuddle time with Nora. The baby needs to be held so much that I get limited time cuddling & holding Nora. She's not quite two years old & deserves to still be a baby sometimes. I worry that having them so close together has pushed Nora out of babyhood too soon. I know my kids are happy & get lots of attention and love yet I still feel guilty & constantly worry that I'm not doing enough for them. Ugh, the trials of Mootherhood!!! ;) It's the hardest work you'll ever LOVE doing.