Sunday, February 13, 2011

My intuition was right.....

We are having a boy! We had our 20 week ultrasound earlier last week and found out we're having a boy, just as we both suspected. Since we couldn't decide on a girl's name I guess it's lucky he's a boy :). I had said I didn't really care whether the baby was a boy or girl but I think a small part of me would have liked to have had another daughter. The technician at the ultrasound first thought the baby was a girl and announced to us that the baby was a girl. I have to admit to feeling a big jolt of excitement. I guess I loved the idea of Nora having a baby sister so close to her in age, sort of a ready made best friend. Plus for some reason I always  assumed I would be the mother of girls. Not sure why, but growing up and in all my fantasies I pictured myself with several daughters. When I began to feel that we were having a boy it was hard to adjust to the idea just because I'd never before really considered what it would be like to raise a boy. I wasn't disappointed when during the ultrasound the baby flipped position and revealed his boyness to the world. I want a boy and in those brief minutes was already planning that we'd have to try for a third to have a boy. Now we'll have one of each. Everyone keeps saying that's the perfect family, though I'm not sure we'll be stopping at two. In an ideal world where health issues and finances aren't issues I would love to have four kids but we'll just have to see how things go.  I'm sooo looking forward to having this baby and finally being able to see him. I wonder if he'll have the hubby's gorgeous blue eyes or if he'll have brown eyes as Nora and I do? I wonder if his temperament will be more like mine or my husband's or just uniquely his own. Nora is a blend of both my hubby and I, but she takes more strongly after him in some areas. They have the same smile and I love that.

Building our family is the most exciting and magical thing I've ever experienced. I knew in my head that having children would change EVERYTHING but knowing it and experiencing it are two different things. I don't think you have to have children to be complete as a woman but I do have to say that the journey to motherhood opens you up in a way that nothing else can. Whether that path is by traditional means, adoption or some other alternative, motherhood is an amazing catalyst for growth and change. I think your heart actually gets bigger! For me I have never experienced love so profound or inspiring. Of course along with that intense love comes worries and fears and the bittersweet sadness of knowing that someday this little person that is the center of your soul will leave you to spread their wings on their own. Parenting is an incredible experience and I'm so thankful I embraced this path. I was very happy in my life pre-babies and have to admit I was on the fence about having children. While I'd grown up wanting to have kids when I couldn't find the right partner to start a family with in my twenties I began to make peace with not having children. When my husband and I met we were both older and set in our ways and although we talked alot about having kids I also worried about how it would disrupt our happy life together. My hubby was the one that finally said we need to get off the fence and take that leap. I am so very very thankful that we did. It's not the easiest path to travel but it truly makes everything seem so much more worth while. Even the hard parts are a blessing (once you get past them, lol).

                                   She is our heart and soul...

1 comment:

  1. Congratulations!! Almost everyone that I know has two of the same gender, so you're one of the odd ones out. ;) I hope your pregnancy continues to go well!