Monday, October 4, 2010

Ode to my daughter: my parenting philosophy right now.

Scrapbook paper to the left is by K&C company

Shona Cole of The Artistic Life (& author of The Artistic Mother) recently launched Mother Muses Monday a weekly column on her blog devoted to motherhood. Since she's one of my very favorite artsy mama bloggers I was thrilled to see her devoting a weekly column to this topic. I need all the pointers I can get! lol For today's column she posted her philosophy on parenting and asked readers to post about their own philosophies.

Having my daughter changed my world on a molecular level. Deep in my bones I feel different than I did before. Needed on a level I've never experienced. Joyfully in love and loved with pure acceptance and wonder. It is the most beautiful and amazing journey and I cherish each moment of it. What makes it even more precious is that I didn't really think I'd ever get here. Never really thought I'd find the right man to have a child with, then once I did I worried that having a baby would change or mess up the life we were building. Even though I VERY MUCH wanted her I had no idea how much of a joy having her would be. My heart expanded 10,000 %.

My philosophy on parenting is to love passionately, to listen to my instincts, and listen to my child. I instinctively felt a need to have her close to me and she seems happier and more secure when near her parents. So She sleeps in our bed. She and I bathe together. I carried her everywhere in a sling and never owned a baby carrier. It just didn't feel right for me to carry her around in a plastic seat when she could be snuggled against me. I listen to her cues regarding when she wants to eat or sleep and developed a natural routine that works with her rhythms. Each day is a new beginning and I try to meet her on her terms instead of expecting her to be what I want all the time. Every single day I tell her thank you for being my baby and I pray for her safety. I talk to her. I smother her with kisses and hugs. Despite, or maybe because of all the love and attention we lavish on her she's a very outgoing, bubbly baby; fascinated and unafraid of the world. I really want to help her to preserve this inate happiness and joy at being alive. I want to encourage her to explore, try new things, love to learn, and most of all I want to make sure she knows that she was wanted and loved and that just by existing she has made the world a tiny bit better. I hope to teach her that life can be hard but that it's also beautiful and that's what gets us through the rough times. I believe every child is a blessing and she is MOST DEFINITELY ours. She makes every day beautiful.

What is your parenting philosophy or just your thoughts on parenting? I'd love to know. If you decide to post about this at your blog, leave me a link so I can stop by and read it! And I encourage anyone reading this to check out Shona's blog, especially on Mondays, but it's a wonderful read no matter what the topic!

6 comments:

  1. Beautiful post Meegan. Your sweet baby daughter has the Best Mommy!!! I will work on my philosophy and see if I can make a worthy post.Hugs and thanks for dropping by my little blogging bits.

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  2. Meegan, so well said. I think the reason that your daughter is not afraid of the world is because you have given her utter security. Of course some folks will tell you that you are sheltering her or setting up unrealistic expectations for her, but I disagree! When she is ready she will face the big bad world, but will do so from a base line where she is loved and secure and she can't be moved. WHile little they need Mama. If Mom isn't their biggest fan who will be?
    I could never do a sling, I have a bad back, but I have an Ergo and my kiddos are worn a whole lot on my back. Somehow the ergo balances them out so it doesn't hurt me. (you will see Max on my back on my Wednesday post!)
    love that you are weighing in on this. Way to go lovely mama!

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  3. Hi there....

    Blue Moon Mama...i Love that.

    Thank you for visiting and leaving such a sweet sentiment and for following me too! Oh my I am blushing.

    Being a mommie and having only one, a girl is an absolute treat in every way. I too carried my darling in a sling. I took her everywhere in and she loved it. She saw the world while close to my heart and it was grand. Showing her everything from my hands, nursing her, watching her fall asleep all warm and cozy. I too keep her cozy and warm by my side at night time. Children need lots of love and nurturing. To grow into wonderfully compassionate and caring people they need caring people to demonstrate and who better to do this, than their mommies.

    It is for such a short time they are with us so to love them the old fashion way with lots of love and kisses hugs and soft words is a wonderful thing indeed.

    Happy baby days Mommie!

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  4. ps it is very fun here...
    i shall be following you too!

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  5. So beautiful Meegan! I think the hardest challenge is to be open to who our children are and parent to their needs, not out of what we felt we lacked as children or out of our need to feel needed, essential. I will have to ponder all this some more! I do know the one thing I try to keep in mind is that this is my daughter's journey and I am here to support and teach her, but the lessons are hers to learn, the path is hers to experience. Hard to do ... to see her struggle with something and want to immediately make it better, make it go away but then she would be robbed of the experience of finding her solutions and discovering her power, her talent and gifts.

    Yes, it certainly is the toughest job we'll ever love!

    xo lis

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  6. Excellent philosophy, Mee. There's a wicked world waiting to take advantage of the weak and making sure your sweet Nora isn't weak is one of your jobs as her Mother. My parents made sure I and my siblings were loved, totally and unconditionally, although we were punished when we went against their rules. As Daddy used to say, "my house, my rules". We always knew home was a safe place.
    One of my fondest, recent memories is when y'all brought Nora to the farm. I loved carrying her around and showing her off; she's such a beautiful, loving child. You were such a great sport...remember me taking Nora and then walking her all over the place, showing her to people? When someone asked who was Nora, I told them, "She's my new baby but I don't know who those people are who keep following me around! I wish they would stop!" Such a fun day; give that girl a hug and kiss for me; I miss her and y'all.

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