Monday, April 5, 2010
So Peaceful & Content
Yesterday was wonderful. The whole weekend was great and we made alot of family memories. Easter has always been my favorite holiday, though I'm pretty passionate about Christmas & New Years too. But Easter is extra special. Spring is the time of renewal, new growth, blossoming. Themes I love. There is so much to write about this weekend but for now I just want to write about how I felt. I've never experienced such peace & contentment, particularly yesterday afternoon and evening when I did nothing but spend time enjoying my family & the beauty of the day. Since having Nora every day it feels like I become more myself, if that makes sense. My whole life I've often felt like I've lived on the surface, coasting along and waiting to find the true me, my bigger purpose, my reason for being. I've suddenly realized I'm not feeling that restless, lost & searching feeling now. I've found my purpose in motherhood & family life. Call me old fashioned but it's true. I thought I was suppose to be looking for some higher calling; a fancy career or creative outlet that would be my life's work but I'm slowly realizing that nurturing is my higher calling. I love being the nurturer. I've always loved it and deep down I think I've always known I was a hearth keeper. When I was 8 years old I had a mini epiphany; this intense feeling that all I really wanted in life was to be at home taking care of my family just like my grandmother did. I discounted that feeling as I grew older and society told me I not only needed but was expected & practically required to be something bigger and more important than 'just' a homemaker. My family is my calling. They are my truest & deepest soul fullfilling passion. Everything clicked into place for me when Nora was born. I know who I am now and I feel so peaceful and content with my place in the world.