Tuesday, July 21, 2009

An innie or an outie?

Since the moment I conceived my husband and I have been dying to know whether the baby will be a boy or girl. Frankly, it's been driving me a bit crazy. I'm not a patient person by nature so waiting for anything is hard for me. And I've got to admit we had a preference; a girl. For some reason each of us has always wanted a daughter and when we married and began talking of children we both hoped that our first would be a girl. We each have nephews but there are no little girls in the immediate family and we're the last that will be having children in our generation so if our parents are going to have a granddaugher it's up to us to produce one. It would just be so fun for everyone to finally be able to buy dolls and cute little girl clothes. All my life, whenever I imagined having a child, I was imagining having a daughter. A few years ago when my hubby had me visit a psychic as part of my birthday present she even told me that we'd have a daughter first. So when I got pregnant we were both desperately hoping the baby would be a girl. I even kept refering to the baby as a girl (and my family does as well) and then I'd feel guilty because it could just as easily be a boy. Actually it's probably more likely to be a boy considering all of our siblings have had sons and John's parents produced two boys before having their first daughter. Genetics seems to be against us.

A strange shift seems to have happened in the last month or so. I was really worried in the beginning that I'd be unhappy if we found out we were having a boy first (not that we hate boys, we just had our hearts set on a daughter first). Now that the baby has become a real little person inside of me, I really don't care as much whether it's a boy or a girl. I know it's a cliche to say but all I really really want is to have a healthy, happy baby (and an easy delivery!!! :) ). My fears of being disappointed have abated and I know that no matter what I'm going to adore this baby. We are just so blessed to be having one at all. Each child is a miracle and I know that we'll get exactly what is right for us. I definitely wouldn't mind a little boy just like my husband, so a son will be just as wonderful as a daughter.

I'll be having my 20 week ultrasound on Aug. 6th and we'll hopefully find out then if the baby is a boy or a girl. I just can't wait!!! We've been holding off on buying baby things until we know which we're having and I'm just so excited to finally know and begin creating a nursery. I think my nesting instincts are starting to kick in. Of course knowing my luck the baby will be camera shy and we still won't be able to tell the sex. That would be such a disappointment. I'm sooooo ready to know! It seems really hard to find unisex baby things right now and I'm REALLY ready to start shopping :).

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