Wednesday, May 28, 2008

P.S. I love you

My husband fell asleep early tonight and I snuggled up next to him to watch P.S. I love you (the Hilary Swank movie about a young widow coping with her husband’s death). Needless to say I found myself crying through a good third of the movie, but I did like it. The best part though was finishing the movie and having my groggy, sleep warmed husband roll over and wrap his arms around me. I am so lucky to have him. I remind myself of that every day. Life is too short and nothing is more important than love, especially loving and appreciating the people in your life. Nothing is better than being able to hug someone you love or just being able to spend time with them. Love is the most beautiful, terrifying, courageous experience a person can have.

My deepest fear is losing my husband. The thought of such a wonderful person being gone from my life gives me nightmares yet I know that someday, one of us will be left behind. I just hope that we have many many years together before that happens and deep in my heart I know that love really never ends. Death will someday separate us for a time but love is eternal. Each day I try to remind myself to be grateful for the small things: a hug, a smile, a word, the touch of a hand. I don’t think there’s anything in life more important than these fleeting moments.

“I don’t have enough words, but I want to wish to all of you: Try to find happiness in every day. At least once, smile to each other every day. And say just one extra time that you love the person who lives with you. Just say ‘I love you’. It’s so Great. So important.” Katia Gordeeva’s speech at Celebration of a Life, a tribute to her late husband/partner Sergei Grinkov who died suddenlyof a heart attack at the age of 28 while practicing for an ice skating show.

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