Wednesday, August 8, 2007

This week, every day is a struggle

Oh the joys of dieting. My first week and a half of renewed dieting went wonderfully. No cravings, I felt strong and completely in control. It was wonderful for food not to be the driving force of my life, even for just a little while. Unfortunately the euphoria of those weeks, that HONEYMOON period, seems to have ended. This week so far has been a huge struggle  to avoid serious longterm binge eating. I haven't been able to stick to my 1600 calorie a day goal, but at least I haven't allowed myself complete free reign to eat anything and everything I want. I suppose that's a victory. Losing weight and eating healthily in theory is such a simple thing. After all, I am the one controlling what goes into my body. I should be able to easily choose the right things and avoid the bad stuff. It should be just that simple. Eat what I need to survive at a healthy weight and not thinking about food beyond that. So, why can't I?   It's so horribly frustrating. I just wish food could be unimportant to me, simply a means of survival without all the emotional issues I seem to attach to it. Why can't life just be easy?? :) Eventually I will get through this and emerge triumphant on the other side. I just wish it didn't have to be such a struggle. Good things come to those who wait, right?

I got bored on Monday and changed my journal layout. Now I've got an area on the left side of the page where I can record goals & things I want to accomplish. Right now I've just got some pretty basic, general goals written down but eventually I hope to make them more specific. I also added a sticky post to the top of my journal that has a few of my favorite quotes to inspire me. I will probably change the quotes once in awhile to keep it interesting.

Anyway, that's all for now.

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