Wednesday, August 1, 2007

August 1st weigh in

The dreaded day has arrived. Time to weigh in and see how much damage my two months of grazing did to the progress I made back in April/May. Actually, I'm not really expecting it to be too bad. If the Fates are merciful I won't be much over what I weighed on my last weigh in. I've been dieting pretty strictly for the last week and I feel like I've dropped alot of water weight. Had I weighed myself a week ago I think I'd have been around 297-300 lbs. I'm hoping to be less that 295 at least with this weigh in. Time to go step on the scale:

HIghest weight ever: 322 lbs(Jan. 2003)
Starting weight April 4, 2007: 305.6 lbs.
Weight at last weigh in May 29th, 07: 289
Weight today: 292.0
Weight lost/gained: + 3 lbs.

Well, that's better than I'd really hoped.  Gosh, I didn't  remember that at my last weigh in I was just cracking the 280's. GRR, why didn't I just stick with it. I'd probably be down to 270 by now :(. I guess there's no sense in getting down about my failures at this point. I've just got to celebrate the successes from now on & try my darndest not to backslide.

Here are some short term goals:

By August 15th weigh in: less than 289 lbs
By September 1st weigh in: 285 lbs.
By my birthday, September 15th: 279 lbs.
By my 3rd wedding anniversary, Jan. 1st, 2008: 249 lbs!!!!
By July 4, 2008: 180 lbs.
By September 15th, 2008; my 36th birthday 160 lbs.
Ultimate goal: 140 lbs
I may not make those goals at precisely those times, but I'm going to work hard to try. Particularly the goal of 180 lbs by July 4th, 2008. That's a pretty important goal for me really. Actually it's one of the main reasons I got back on the wagon diet wise and have recommitted myself to all of this self improvement stuff.

My husband and I were out a few weeks ago and something came up about my weight. I think I was teasing him about what he'd do for me if I got thin & healthy. He made some laughing remark & said something like he guessed it would be time for us to start trying to make a baby. I pounced on that and told him I was going to hold him too that, then I asked what he thought a healthy weight for me would be and he said 180 lbs, which sounded pretty reasonable. So I made him promise that if I get down to 180 lbs that we'd start trying to have a baby and he agreed. I kind of pushed it out of my mind though and didn't immediately decide to start dieting. Then  about a week or so ago we were out visiting a local park & passed by a new housing developement nearby where we live and decided to stop in and look at all the model homes since it was open. These houses are out of our price range being between 1.5 & 2 million dollars but it's always fun to daydream. We both fell in love with one house in particular. We walked into one of the bedrooms and it was done up for a little girl, all pink & frilly. Fit for a princess complete with it's own little balcony. When we stepped on to the balcony I had this image in my mind of a little blonde haired girl playing with her barbie dolls out there and it totally hit me just how much I want to have a family with my husband. And that's when I got back on this dieting adventure. I can not let my weight rob me of something I really want. It's holding me back in ways I never thought it would.  I will be 35 years old in a month and if I want to have a family I've got to get on the ball already! Up until that moment having kids was kind of an abstract idea, something I knew I wanted somewhere down the line but not something I was ready to jump into just yet. That image of a little girl playing with her dolls just made everything seem so real and so urgent. Maybe it's just my biological clock kicking in but whatever it is, it was great motivation. Not that it's the only motivation I have. It's just the most urgent. It's not as if I have all that many childbearing years left .  Five probably, perhaps as many as 8 or 10 if I'm really really lucky. But the risks go up with each passing year. 

I really need to make a list of goals to accomplish, both big and little. Not just weight loss or health related ones either. I always do better, get more done, if I have something concrete to focus on.

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