I had it all planned. I woke up thinking about getting myself a wonderful cheese drenched meat covered pizza & some cheese cake from the pizza place on the hill. Really delicious stuff. I've been thinking about it for awhile, dreaming about it actually. So, I dropped the hubby off at the train station, puttered around the house for a bit and then jumped in the shower; planning to get myself ready to order all that delicious fattening goodness and then veg out in front of an old Paul Newman movie & gorge to my hearts content. But halfway thru the shower I started thinking about how yucky I was probably going to feel once I'd eaten all those goodies and how guilty I would feel when I tried to hide my binge from my husband, and how tight my newly boughten one-size-smaller-jeans would feel if I keep eating junk food. Suddenly, much to my own shock, I decided the food wasn't worth it. And eating an apple sounded better. Now I'm sitting here with my apple and glass of milk, feeling pretty content and very pleased with myself. Today I made the choice to be healthier, to not give in to food cravings and boredom eating, to think about the consequences of a binge BEFORE having to suffer through them and I'm really happy with myself.
Of course tomorrow is another day. Temptation will arise again. But for today I can be proud that I fought it and won. Maybe if I can just take one day at a time, one moment of temptation at a time, this might get easier. I hope so.