Monday, April 9, 2007

Day 6: Feeling Happy

I'm still feeling really good, really optimistic & secure about trying to take care of myself & get healthy. Notice how I'm avoiding the word "diet". I don't want to think of this as a diet. Diet to me equals restriction, deprivation, and ultimately failure. I'm really trying to focus on the opposite of all that. I'm concentrating on taking care of myself. Eating healthily, eating smaller amounts, & being AWARE of what I'm putting into my body isn't deprivation. I shouldn't feel like someone is being mean to me because I am not allowed to eat an entire box of jalapeno cheese poppers, 3 candy bars, a liter of soda & several beef sticks for lunch. Actually, I'm being nice to myself by avoiding junk food and binge eating. I keep telling myself that, over and over. I keep telling myself that I DESERVE BETTER than junk food. I deserve to care about myself and what I put inside of me. I deserve to feel good. So far, the positive self talk is working. I've been down this road before though and I know I'm still in the honeymoon phase of this new plan for self improvement. Eventually I'll hit a road block & won't feel so chipper & cheerful. Hopefully when that happens I'll find some other little way of getting myself through it, or maybe feedback from journal friends will get me through. It's amazing how much a virtual stranger's comments can help to motivate & inspire you. Just coming to this journal & reading comments or reading through journals of people on my friends list makes it a bit easier to stick with my plans to better myself. It is so good to feel connected to the world, and to know that I'm not alone. Other people have been, or are currently in, the same struggle that I am.

I weighed myself yesterday morning. I've decided Sunday mornings will be my weigh in day. I know it's good to be consistent when you do your weigh in and you should try to do it at the same time on the same day each week (or month). Sunday shall be my day for two reasons. I think of Sunday as the end of the week so it's a perfect day to review my success by a weigh in. Also, I've decided that Sunday will be the day when I relax a little and allow myself to eat a little above my usual amount or have something a little less healthy. Not an all you can eat splurge day, but a day where I can eat a steak or a dessert and not feel guilty. I'm going to keep this healthy eating stuff pretty simple for now.

Here is my 5 step plan:
No soft drinks (
Soda, fruit punch, lemonade, etc.):I've mostly given up soda anyway because the caffeine & carbonation made me feel awful but I just replaced it by drinking buckets of calorie filled lemonade & sugary drinks. Now,if it has no nutritional value then it's not going inside of me. I can drink a glass of juice, milk or water.
Stay under 1500 calories each day
Limit red meat to one day a week at most

BE NICE TO MYSELF:
no more beating myself up when I have a bad day, no more negative self talk, no more thinking I'm helpless & hopeless. Make choices that say I CARE ABOUT MYSELF. Do more things I enjoy so I'm not bored and likely to want to over eat.
Try to move more: This may be the hardest part for me to get started on and stick to. I'm going to take it in babysteps.

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Progress update:

Starting weight: 305.6 lbs April 4, 2007
Current weight: 297.4 lbs April 9, 2007
Weight lost: 8 lbs. in 6 days

Yippee!!!   I know it's just water weight but I'm thrilled I've made some progress. Mostly I'm really happy that I'm already feeling better. My stomach doesn't feel bloated or upset. I'm not as lethargic. I'm not having horrible headaches. I'm happy so far with how I'm doing.

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