Monday, April 23, 2007

Day 19: Weigh In

Starting weight: 305.6 lbs. (April 4, 2007)
Weight at last weigh in: 296.6 lbs.
Weight today: 294. 5 lbs
Weight lost during the last week: -2.1 lbs


All is good in my world! I've lost more weight this week than I did last week, even though I was less strict on the amount of calories I ate (stayed within my range of 1500). I've already made my monthly goal of lossing 10 lbs. So long as I at least loss 10 lbs each month then I'm on target for achieving my ultimate goal of 140 lbs by my 36th birthday in 2008. Of course, I'll be thrilled if I can loose a bit more weight this month and actually exceed my monthly goal. I believe that I will.

On the exercise front, I haven't succedded as well as I was hoping. I only managed to add a bit of exercise during the week. Exercising is going to be my achilles heel in this process I'm afraid. I'm not going to get discouraged about it. I know I will eventually get that under control too. I know I have to change my routine around and make getting some exercise a cornerstone of my daily activities. I've got to make it enjoyable too, otherwise I know I won't stick with it long term. There is a quote I read somewhere that is the foundation for my self improvement plan. I use it as one of my mantras: Changing permanently on the inside is the key to making outer changes last.

This week my goal (besides trying to work in more physical activity) is to get my bedroom organized, particularly my office space in my bedroom. As I've mentioned, we have very little space and what space we do have is overflowing with clutter. I admit it, I love knick knacks! I also have far too many books stacked all about, waiting to topple over on any unsuspecting person that gets close to them. I feel a need to clean everything out. Being surrounded by so much chaos just isn't good for me emotionally. I need balance in all areas of my life. Besides, I certainly can't exercise in here if I'm worried about knocking something over. So, time to do a bit of spring cleaning.

This weekend my husband and I went up the coast to Ventura. While browsing around we came across a great little shop filled with all these lovely, sparkling clothes. They were all just my style, cheerful & bright & fun. Whimsical. Sadly, they were also all too small for me. I want to wear pretty clothes! Why can't plus size clothes be fun or funky or sparkley? And even when I do find things like that in plus sizes they always hang horribly on me :(. I'm going to be so happy when I can finally look nice in the kind of clothes that I love, clothes that express the real me. When I feel a little bit discouraged, or start thinking that one cheeseburger & chocolate shake wouldn't hurt anything I visualize all the pretty clothes I'll be able to wear once I achieve my ultimate goal. I know it's a superficial way to motivate myself, but it works :).  Visualizing myself slim & healthy is a great motivational tool also.  I really feel that this time I can accomplish my self improvement goals. I just have to keep myself focused. That's always been the problem in the past. I get myself to a reasonably healthy point & then stop working at it. I get complacent. Then, slowly but surely the pounds creep back on because I refuse to acknowledge them. I pretend it isn't happening. Denial is a close personal friend of mine. I'm not doing that this time. I want my life back. I want to be in charge, not just coasting along letting life happen to me as I day dream about how I wish my life could be. I'm going to MAKE my life the way I want it. No more daydreaming, no more wishful thinking. No more, someday. It's happening today, this moment. I will be happy. I will be healthy. I will have the life I've always dreamed of. I WILL :)

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