Growing up in Missouri
You've never met any celebrities.
Everyone you know has been on a "Float Trip,"
"Vacation" means driving to Silver Dollar City, Worlds of Fun or Six
You've seen all the biggest bands ten years AFTER they were popular.
You measure distance in minutes rather than miles. For example,
"Well, Webb City's only 20 minutes away."
Down south to you means Arkansas.
The phrase "I'm going to the Lake this weekend" only means one thing.
You know several people who have hit a deer.
Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
You instinctively ask someone you've just met, "What High School did
you go to?"
You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in
it, no matter what time of day.
You know in your heart that Mizzou can beat Nebraska in football.
You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition.
Example: "Where's my coat at?"
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit,
vegetable, or grain.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and
Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
You carry jumper cables in your car and know that everyone else
You only own three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.
The local paper covers national and international headlines on one
page, but requires six pages for sports.
You think I-44 is spelled and pronounced "farty-far." (St. Louis
You'll pay for your kids to go to college unless they want to go to
You think that "deer season" is a National Holiday.
You know that Concordia is halfway between Kansas City and Columbia,
and Columbia is halfway between St. Louis and Kansas City, and the
Warrenton Outlet Mall is halfway between Columbia and St.
You can't think of anything better than sitting on the porch in the
middle of the summer during a thunderstorm.
You've said, "it's not the heat, it's the humidity."
You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer and
You know that Harry S Truman, Walt Disney and Mark Twain are all
You failed World Geography in school because you thought Cuba,
Versailles, California, Nevada, Houston, Cabool, Louisiana, Springfield,
and Mexico were cities in Missouri. (And they are!)
You think a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
You know what "HOME OF THE THROWED ROLL" means.
You actually get this and forward it to all your Missouri friends.
Still in alot of pain from my fall down the stairs. UGH!