Saturday, May 10, 2003
I'm 30 years old but I'm still such a child. I need more life experience. I need to spread my wings. I don't know what I want. Sometimes I'm not sure who I am. Life is full of many different paths and I'm not sure what road to chose. Maybe I'll travel down each a little way just to get the lay of the land. I'm learning and growning. That's what is important. I'm going to embrace new things, get what I can from them and go on. Each experience will be a stepping stone towards who I am meant to be. I want to know more of life, of the world. I want to suck the marrow from life and not when I come to die realize I have not lived, as Thoreau so perfectly put it. I need to take chances more. I need to step bravely into the future each and every day. That is my ultimate goal. Life has so many possibilities. I limit myself with expectations. I'm going to work on that. Work on taking each day in stride without labeling, compartmentalizing, judging or expecting anything. There are goals I want to work on of course, but mainly for the sheer joy of learning or experiencing them. I've spent too long over thinking things, trying to mold life to fit a pattern. Now I'm going to take life as a puzzle and let all the peices fall into place as they naturally should. Mostly I'm going to concentrate on feeling good about myself and about life every single day. It's not perfect, my life, but it is MINE and it can be whatever I want to make of it. I can feel my WINGS unfolding.